Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
