Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
