He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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