Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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