plz talk dirty to me
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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