i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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