I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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