i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
