If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
