Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
