it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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