Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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