am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
