after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
