This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Every concussion has its silver lining
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
