Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
