I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
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He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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