i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Randomize
