She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
