I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
