Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
