I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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