So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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