No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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