Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.

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  (815): Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic. http://tfl.nu/2mbo
  Replies (4) Good night (3058) Bad night (645)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.

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  (513): She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight. http://tfl.nu/4s7r
  Replies (21) Good night (3390) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.

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  (651): how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night. http://tfl.nu/2trw
  Replies (47) Good night (8556) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition

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  (352): im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition http://tfl.nu/5ifl
  Replies (18) Good night (945) Bad night (5183)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out

  (574): View more from Indiana

  You never cease to amaze me.

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  (614): Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out (574): You never cease to amaze me. http://tfl.nu/7cst
  Replies (18) Good night (5289) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me

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  (773): At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me http://tfl.nu/wnez
  Replies (4) Good night (2850) Bad night (1196)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.

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  (727): josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry. http://tfl.nu/3vhb
  Replies (6) Good night (2817) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Maybe I should forgo underwear.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  This is a family BBQ no?

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  (214): Maybe I should forgo underwear. (314): This is a family BBQ no? http://tfl.nu/2i6y
  Replies (4) Good night (2238) Bad night (1191)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style

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  (248): There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style http://tfl.nu/z785
  Replies (5) Good night (2044) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"

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  (860): I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is" http://tfl.nu/o552
  Replies (1) Good night (1425) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.

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  (760): I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite. http://tfl.nu/b3g6
  Replies (1) Good night (1340) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...

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  (919): If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know... http://tfl.nu/u1x9
  Replies (5) Good night (786) Bad night (1020)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon

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  (559): I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon http://tfl.nu/fvut
  Replies (0) Good night (386) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..

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  (918): You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man.. http://tfl.nu/8lw1
  Replies (1) Good night (224) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!

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  (518): he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him! http://tfl.nu/wppf
  Replies (2) Good night (289) Bad night (492)

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