I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
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so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
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Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka