Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (312): Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good. http://tfl.nu/1om1
  Replies (82) Good night (3533) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of? http://tfl.nu/2d4m
  Replies (21) Good night (775) Bad night (5332)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  did you hook up at the wedding?

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): did you hook up at the wedding? (1-540): No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth. http://tfl.nu/7cxn
  Replies (30) Good night (1552) Bad night (3770)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends. (1-303): At about the same time you guys weren't burritos. http://tfl.nu/mxci
  Replies (27) Good night (8113) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving' http://tfl.nu/j3uq
  Replies (25) Good night (3913) Bad night (1326)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning... http://tfl.nu/es8o
  Replies (6) Good night (2804) Bad night (867)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this. http://tfl.nu/rk1o
  Replies (4) Good night (920) Bad night (1823)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again. http://tfl.nu/e5f9
  Replies (4) Good night (541) Bad night (1258)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/gaew
  Replies (5) Good night (1444) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER. http://tfl.nu/qydu
  Replies (2) Good night (814) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy. http://tfl.nu/nc3s
  Replies (1) Good night (671) Bad night (482)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS

  (845): View more from New York

  Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS (845): Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings. http://tfl.nu/tkia
  Replies (8) Good night (1123) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk. http://tfl.nu/nl8z
  Replies (2) Good night (485) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  ... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+49): ... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany. http://tfl.nu/88tv
  Replies (0) Good night (500) Bad night (192)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you. http://tfl.nu/e1gz
  Replies (4) Good night (302) Bad night (254)

Randomize