how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You are a genius and a whore.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
