I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Randomize
