Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.

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(202): it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously. http://tfl.nu/bvn1

Replies (7) Good night (763) Bad night (1827)
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(206): View more from Washington

i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.

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(206): i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to. http://tfl.nu/oxy7

Replies (3) Good night (3102) Bad night (571)
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(925): View more from California

You make homosexuality sound like a cult.

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(925): You make homosexuality sound like a cult. http://tfl.nu/swwi

Replies (20) Good night (1062) Bad night (2798)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone

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(414): we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone http://tfl.nu/fyy6

Replies (32) Good night (7172) Bad night (915)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was

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(203): She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was http://tfl.nu/dgtk

Replies (15) Good night (3993) Bad night (1386)
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(530): View more from California

she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.

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(530): she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new. http://tfl.nu/z10i

Replies (6) Good night (3070) Bad night (869)
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(805): View more from California

Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla

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(805): Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla http://tfl.nu/wlr8

Replies (9) Good night (2148) Bad night (948)
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(810): View more from Michigan

It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.

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(810): It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team. http://tfl.nu/1zge

Replies (7) Good night (3219) Bad night (1272)
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(626): View more from California

While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.

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(626): While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid. http://tfl.nu/l2lf

Replies (5) Good night (1886) Bad night (477)
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(810): View more from Michigan

hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list

(989): View more from Michigan

haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters

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(810): hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list (989): haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters http://tfl.nu/iy12

Replies (11) Good night (1527) Bad night (473)
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(514): View more from Quebec

It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...

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(514): It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time... http://tfl.nu/8j5m

Replies (2) Good night (528) Bad night (304)
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(407): View more from Florida

I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.

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(407): I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him. http://tfl.nu/9st1

Replies (3) Good night (637) Bad night (312)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...

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(202): He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning... http://tfl.nu/6uz6

Replies (3) Good night (381) Bad night (658)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me

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(+44): Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me http://tfl.nu/vnu7

Replies (1) Good night (270) Bad night (397)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?

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(217): Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob? http://tfl.nu/m7ja

Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (188)

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