btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.