i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.