glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
