dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
