Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
