tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
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but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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