make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
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Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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