His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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