I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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