I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
