woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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