It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
