It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
