Please don't use social media to get back at me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
