He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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