And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
