____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
