Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
What drink are we having for lunch?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
