giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
