I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
