Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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