im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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