May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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