They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
