Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
