even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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