Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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