I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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