My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize