The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize