Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
