Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
