why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
