i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
