Soap is not a condiment
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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