That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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