Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
