What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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