someone threw a dead crab at me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
