ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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