Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
