Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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