Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
you would pick up someone in the library
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
