i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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