We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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