He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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