Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
my poor anus
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
