Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
