fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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