Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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